I spent decades striving to earn my place and hustling to prove that I was good enough, smart enough, professional enough and staying on the safe side of vulnerability.  Under the surface, I am always asking myself the question Do I truly belong here? Would they still want me if they really knew me, all of me?

Unfortunately, by trying to fit in, we lose ourselves, we isolate ourselves from others.  The more we curate our image, the less connected we feel.  Embracing ourselves – the beautiful, messy, imperfectly perfect truth of who we truly are is the first step in building belonging and connection.

One of the reasons I became a coach was that I was “fitting in” for a long time rather than belonging. When I came as I am – unmasked – I was much more successful, built authentic, trusting relationships, and moved into my potential with purposeful action.

I see this in my work as a coach all the time, clients who from the outside seem to be successful, but inside feel like impostors.  Teams that appear to function smoothly, but don’t have the trust to have real conversations. Leaders who crave connection, but don’t know how to make the first move.

Creating belonging starts with two steps.

1. Welcoming ourselves, accepting all of us, not abandoning ourselves to please others
2. Making brace connection – Here I am, this is me and I would like to know the real you too!

Belonging is all about difference; we are not the same and there is room for many voices.  Be the person who chooses belonging over perfection.  It gives everyone else the permission to do the same!